My Days – Chapter Six
Life is so lonely now. I think of all the things I did at such-and-such a time, and I wish I could do them with Bert now. Why did you have to leave me? I know the pain was bad, but you don’t think of those things when you’re together, and you can always get something for it from the doctor. People say to me, “you do look well”. I know I am, but they don’t know the ache inside.
I have a very good friend across the way, Evelyn Fisher. She is so kind and brings lovely meals and baking. She shops at Asda and other places. She has just rung as I’m writing now to ask if she can bring me anything from Asda. It is so kind of her.
I was going to walk to our post-office shop. The sun is shining but there is such a lot of wind. It’s only February and so cold. We must expect it for a while yet, but we’ve got the summer in front of us. Father Christmas brought me a four-wheel walker so I can get out more. I was walking with a stick but got so I couldn’t manage it. I am top-heavy and it pulls me to one side. I’m frightened of falling.
Jane, my house and garden lady, is very good. She’s wonderful. Her mum is in Louth hospital, having had an operation to replace her hip. She’s going on very well, having waited such a long time. She’s in one of the electric chairs, so hopefully she can walk a lot better when she comes out, after a while. Jane has just gone off to Louth and took her dad and daughter. Jane’s daughter, Samantha, is 13-years old. I hope they find things OK, which I think they will.
Jane and family have arrived back from Louth hospital. Joan is going on fine. It’ll be about another week. It’s a long trail for Jane but her mum is being looked after very well and is enjoying fresh company. Jane is a grand lass. She will do anything for people. She might be a bit too willing at times. I feel people put on her. She’s been lovely with me since Bert passed away. Bert would be so pleased if only he could see what she’s done with the garden. It is a picture. He thought such a lot of his garden. How I miss him every day. Life will never be the same again. I say to those who have got their husbands and partners: “Love and take care of each other. Life is very lonely when you lose them”.
They’re only memories, but they mean such a lot and we had lots. I was looking in a box the other day and found letters and cards. Such lovely memories and some sad. There were letters we were sent when I was in labour and when we lost our little Raymond Barry from the lady I worked for, Mrs Massingberd-Mundy of Ormsby Hall.
We also got some from Mr and Mrs Ward, who Bert worked for, and the rector at South Ormsby who married us. Their daughter, Joyce, was in the army. She even wrote. It was so kind of them, and lots more.
I wonder how he would have turned out. I do think a lot. I wonder if he would have been kind and thoughtful like David. I am sure he would, bless him. His dad is looking after him now, and I hope they remember me. God bless them both. Love, Mum, xx.
Maybe I am rambling on, but it’s just how I feel. My mum used to say she liked my letters because I wrote as I spoke and they were full of news.